Less Than Zero
Part Eleven of Something To Talk About
By Ainsley

Disclaimer: Yes, I'm Kevin Williamson. I've been writing these stories under the pseudonym 'Ainsley', but I think it's time to confess my true identity. In case you can't tell, I'm being majorly sarcastic.

Author's Note: To my wonderful readers, please, please write which story you're talking about when you send me fanfiction! I love getting e-mails from people, but sometimes you don't specify which of my series that you're talking about. Thank you!

Recap: Pacey showed up drunk at Dawson's, causing Jen and Dawson to be extremely worried about their friend. Later, Pacey and Abby got smashed together at a party, and she brought him back to her house. They were engaged in some heavy-duty making out when Pacey called Joey's name.

"No matter how smart you are, when it comes to how you feel about things, you're pretty much always the last to know."
-Jacquelyn Mitchard

"So," Joey asked excitedly. "How'd it go?"

"Oh, Josephine," Sylvie sighed, and fell onto Joey's bed. "It was wonderful. He is so nice, and romantic..."

"Yeah, yeah," Joey waved her hand dismissively. "Details. Did he kiss you?"

Sylvie giggled happily. "Yes! It was so super!"

"Super?" Joey repeated. "I have to tell you, Sylvie, no one says 'super' anymore."

"Okay," she said. "Oh, fantastique! It was the most amazing night of my life!"

"I'm so happy for you," Joey said wistfully, remembering her first kiss with Pacey.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sylvie cried. "Josephine! Stop it!"


"I know that look. You were thinking about Pacey, were you not?"

"I was," Joey admitted. "So what?"

"You will never...eh, what is that American phrase? Oh, yes. You will never get over him if you do not stop thinking about him constantly."

"I'm already over him," Joey lied.

"Yes, yes. The girl lies like the wind."

"I'm not lying,"

"Yes you are,"

"Okay, fine. I'm lying. So what? It doesn't matter if I'm over Pacey or not. We're through."

"Yes, yes,"

"You don't believe me?"

"Yes, yes,"

"Stop saying that!"

"The girl is angry. I see that. But are you angry at me or at this Pacey boy?"

"Why would I be angry at Pacey?" Joey asked. "I don't care about the incident in Boston anymore, if that's what you mean."

"No, you are angry at Pacey because you think he stopped loving you,"

"That's not true,"

"Yes, yes,"


"Josephine, my dear, dear, girl. I do not like this Pacey boy - you know that - but it is as clear as diamonds that he still loves you."

"Don't you mean crystal?"

"Yes, yes. Clear as crystal."

"Pacey doesn't love me,"

"Well, then why did he write in his letter that he loved you?"

"It was just his way of getting rid of me,"

"Do not be ridiculous,"

"Ridiculous? Why am I listening to you, anyway. You've never even met him."

"My, how edgy you are. You know what I think?"

"No, but I'm sure you're about to tell me,"

"I think you still love this Pacey boy very much, and the reason you will not go home is that you are afraid that he does not care for you as much. But I say, he does."

"That's insane,"

"Prove it,"


"Go home,"

"Excuse me?"

"Go home,"

"Now? I have to leave in a week anyway."

"You are just putting it off,"

"But - "

"No buts, Josephine. You can write to me, and call me, and I'll come visit in a while."

"Sylvie, I - "

"No," Sylvie shook her head. "Pack! I'll make the arrangements."

"I don't think - "

"Do it!"

"Okay," Joey agreed meekly.

Sylvie stood in the doorway and smiled, as Joey picked up Pacey's picture and kissed it lightly.


Dawson paced back and forth across his bedroom, waving his hands madly and ranting to Jen.

"He's insane! He's literally gone mad!"

Jen just sat on his bed and stared at him calmly. "Dawson, relax."

"Relax? Relax? As we speak, Pacey is sleeping with Abby!"

"Don't be ridiculous. Even a drunk Pacey isn't that stupid."

"Hello? Did you miss that whole scene at the party when they left together? They were all over each other!"

"Pacey loves Joey,"

"Yes, I know that, and you know that, but apparently Pacey doesn't know that! And Abby, well, she doesn't care!"

"He won't be able to go through with it,"

"He's drunk, Jen! He won't be able to rationalize what he's doing!

When people are drunk, they lose all sense of right and wrong! You of all people should know that!"

Jen blinked. "Oh."

Dawson sighed. He sat down on the bed next to her. "Jen, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about Pacey, that's all."

"It's all right,"

"No it isn't. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Don't worry about it, Dawson. Really."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," Jen nodded. "But what are we going to do about Pacey?"

"All right, I've got it. We'll storm Abby's house and drag him out by his teeth."

"Oh, if that isn't the most moronic idea you've ever had..."

"You're right, it probably is," Dawson agreed. "You really don't think he'll do it?"

"I really don't," Jen assured him. "Honestly, Dawson. Pacey loves Joey, and I'm sure he'll realize that before he causes any lasting damage."

"Oh, Joey," Dawson said, staring at the window and willing her to climb through it. "Please, just come home."


"All packed?"

"Yes," Joey smiled at Sylvie. "Thank you so much for this, Sylvie. I owe you one."

"You're welcome," Sylvie picked up Joey's bags and loaded them into the back of a taxi.

The two of them climbed into the back, and Sylvie leaned over and whispered something Joey didn't understand to the driver.

Joey fidgeted nervously. "Are you sure I should do this?"



"Because in his letter, Pacey said that he loved you. That is all that matters now."

"Yeah," Joey nodded, then paused. "No! What am I doing? Turn around, we're going back!"

Sylvie leaned over and said something to the driver, who looked quite confused.

"Did you tell him to turn around?"


"Then what did you say?"

"I told him to ignore you,"

"Sylvie! I want to go back!"

"No, you have to do this, Josephine."

"This is stupid. Pacey doesn't love me."

"Of course he does! He said it plain and clear in his letter!"

"He was just trying to get rid of me,"

"Pish posh,"

"Did you just say 'Pish posh'?"


"Sylvie, please. Please, don't make me do this."

"You are acting like a baby,"

"A baby?" Joey repeated. "You're right. I'm acting like a baby!"


"What's wrong with me? What ever happened to the old Joey Potter who didn't care what anyone thought of her?"

"That is a good question,"

"Well, say good-bye to Joey the doormat! I'm going back to Capeside," Joey said, a fierce glint in her eyes. "And I'm going to get Pacey back, whether he likes it or not!"

"That is the spirit!" Sylvie said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, dammit! He loves me!"

"Yes, he does!"

"And I love him!"


"And I'm insane,"


"But that's okay!" Joey exclaimed. "Because I'm going to get him back if it's the last thing I do!"


"So, you see," Joey explained. "I couldn't stand to be around him anymore, and I got on the plane and went to Paris!"

"Oh, yes," the old woman in the seat next to her on the plane, Dorothy, nodded. "I understand."

"It's terribly romantic," the woman's daughter, Sarah, who sat on the other side of her mother, agreed. "You going back to claim him."

"Yes, thank you," Joey grinned. "I love him so much. We belong together."

"No, no, no!"

"What?" Joey looked over at the man in the seat across the aisle.

"This is most ridiculous! It's a load of poppycock!" he said.

"Poppycock?" Dorothy repeated. "Forgive me, but I don't understand, sir."

"It's all insanity! You Americans wouldn't know true love if it ate out of your hand and took a crap on your head!"

"What?" Joey raised her eyebrows. "Wait, who are you, anyway?"

"Robert Fountain, nice to meet you," He stuck out his hand and shook Joey's. "I overheard your conversation, and I'm afraid I quite disagree."

"With what? You don't think I should go back?"

"No, I think you were with the wrong person!"

"I'm confused," Sarah spoke up.

"Me too," Joey agreed.

Robert leaned over so he could see Dorothy and Sarah. "You see, ladies, Joey and Pacey never belonged together in the first place!"

"How do you figure that?"

"Think about it. You've been in love with that Dawson character for what, two or three years, right?"

"No, I never loved Dawson," Joey shook her head. "It was just a crush...or whatever."

"See, but I disagree. I think Dawson is your true love, and Pacey was just an infatuation to get over Dawson. You were so hurt when he started seeing Jen that you used Pacey to hide your real feelings for Dawson."

"Oh, I see what you mean," Dorothy nodded seriously. "This is quite the astonishing revelation."

"Wait, no. There's no revelation! I don't love Dawson, I love Pacey!"

"No, I'm afraid I see things differently." Robert said. "It's rather obvious that you really love Dawson."

"This is insane! Don't you think I know what I feel?"

"I'm afraid young people are quite fickle these days," Robert commented to Dorothy, speaking as if Joey weren't even there.

Joey stared at him in slight disbelief.

"It's rather like 'Melrose Place'," Sarah said, staring dreamily into space.

I'm in the Twilight Zone, Joey thought. This cannot be happening.

My life has become a soap opera for people I don't even know to analyze and criticize and tell me who I love.

"No," Joey spoke up. "I'm positive. I don't love Dawson, I love Pacey."

"I'm afraid you're making a mistake, dear," Dorothy cautioned.

Joey sighed. "Somebody please shoot me," she muttered. "Now."


Joey ran through the marina, carrying all her luggage, her hair blowing madly in the wind. She hadn't slept in 48 hours, her mind was a muddled mess. But she knew what she had to do.

She continued jogging right up to the Icehouse, and to the counter where all her friends were standing. They must've been talking about something important, Joey noted, because all of their faces were solemn and serious, even Pacey's.

"Joey!" they exclaimed in surprised unison when she raced up to them.

"No time," she replied.

Joey dropped her bags, and pushed her hair back from her face. She reached up and took Dawson's face in her hands.

"Go with me on this one," Joey said.

Then she pressed her lips against those of her best friend in the world, Dawson Leery.


* * * * *

Author's Note: Ha! Betcha didn't see that one comin'! If you did, well, you're better than me, because I didn't know it was going to happen until it showed up on my screen! More soon, including the answer to the question, "Did Pacey and Abby sleep together or not?" -Ainz

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